Friday, January 20, 2012

My two selves

I have two lives. One takes place in a realm of consciousness where everything is normal. I look for work that I like and is fulfilling, I earn a living, I buy stuff, go out with friends, drink, eat, look for more stuff to buy, work harder to earn more money, and then I spend more time coveting my stuff because I have worked so hard to obtain it…but it’s good stuff, I have good people and I am basically happy.

In my other life, I don’t care about work, I don’t care about stuff, I am convinced that the practicalities of urban life will be taken care of (my other self thinks this self is delusional), I don’t drink because I don’t like how it makes me feel, I have good friends, and all I want is to be more connected to myself and others. I want to understand who I am and how, at times, I slip into unity consciousness, and how to make that process even more fluid and grounded than it has been.

The common element in both is my relationships. This is the link. These two lives are sometimes at odds with each other but are always connected through the people. The me that is grounded in concrete material life wonders if we are all connected to something greater than ourselves, while the me that is sometimes lost in experience wonders if the 'greater is that we are connected to each other.

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