Dare to Be Extraordinary

I have come to realize that how I feel about things influences my thoughts in ways that are very important to be conscious of. I think I am becoming aware of ways I hold myself back by how I feel or what I believe, but I don‘t quite see them clearly.

I am currently looking for work and have been for a while. I have been shifting my career focus and things had been working out well, giving me the impression that I am doing what’s right for myself, but things seem to have changed. Though I still enjoy the work and continue to look in my desired area, things are not flowing as they have in the past and I am beginning to feel quite stuck. If I look closely I can feel that I have shifted. Somewhere along the way I stopped taking for granted that this was the right thing for me, and I stopped moving forward blindly and blissfully.

A few of months ago I started to ask myself bigger questions again. I started wondering what the point was. I started asking myself why I am on the planet. I started waking up to the fact that, although my work is enjoyable, it does not satisfy me to a significant degree. The words “dare to be extraordinary” entered my consciousness and would not leave. I tried to convince myself that I could be extraordinary in my work but, although that is certainly true, the dare does not nullify the quest to find the point.

During this seemingly huge transition I am looking for activities that resonate with something inside me, so that I can feel some relief from the intense dissatisfaction that permeates my being. I keep trying to move forward, to identify the things that are out of sync and to right them so that I can continue to move forward. I seek to understand myself, how I think and why I do things the way I do, and I try to understand my experience and my energy in a way that builds cohesion. I sometimes have a perspective on my life from which I am whole. When I don’t see it, I can still feel that it exists, but from my current vantage point I still see fragments.

Psychologists don't have it all figured out.

“Psychologists say we should have a number of major, long-range goals to have a healthy, fulfilling life. In addition, we need some medium-range goals with specific dates in mind for achieving them.” My questions for psychologists are these. “What’s the point? Accomplishment for accomplishment’s sake? If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, how would it matter what I have accomplished?” To say I don’t value my accomplishments would be a lie, but there is a sort of emptiness to them as well. I am one person on a planet of 7 billion other people. What’s the point? It’s not really my question, but that’s as close as I can get. My question is so much bigger than that, I don’t even know how to put it into words.

I work hard to pump money into my material existence and I am left with a lack of meaning. The pervasive question is “What’s the point?” This has been my question for a very long time. Although I thought I had figured out how to be happy, it seems that I am missing something. The question is still there. This is not a whiney helpless sort of “what’s the point?”, it is a true quest to discover why am I on the planet. I set goals, I have good accomplishments, I like my work, I have good support, great people and lots of love in my life, but I am still looking for something.

The above mentioned psychologists may have it figured out for most people, but there are some pretty significant cracks in the plan, into which I am sure I am not the only one who has fallen. Who are the guides for the rest of us?