I am thinking about looking for work. I need to do it soon, but for a long time I just haven't been able to focus on what I want in terms of career growth. Though I know, in general, I don‘t expect to get what I want by accident, so I need to find some focus before I begin. I probably won’t have to sustain it for a long time, but my experience indicates that it is necessary.
Used to think that making things happen my life was about understanding causal relationships. The consequences of my actions. Now I am not so sure. It doesn’t seem causal anymore. Before thought there is pure potential. It seems to me that it’s not so much that the act of thinking that creates reality as much as that the act of thinking is creating. That’s it. There is nothing else; you think/create and it is, not sequentially but simultaneously. There is no causal relationship.
It also seems to me that it is not my awareness of something that makes something exist or not exist. If I am unaware of something about myself or my life then for me it does not exist, but for someone else it could... as plain as day… and perhaps be very annoying. My awareness of something does not determine its existence, only my experience of it. If that is true then there is no causal relationship. I think / create and then I either experience it or I don’t…partly depending on whether I create consciously or not. Is it then my belief that brings it into my realm of experience? Does it need to be believable? Do I make it believable by consciously creating and then establishing the steps I need to take?
Lately, I have had the feeling that I have set the bar too low. Part of me believes that these are the steps I need to take, but that I can take them fairly quickly. Then I look at the steps and question the necessity of some of them, and I wonder why, at particular stages, I did not imagine more for myself.
Part of me also believes that the big things take longer and take more energy. What if that is not true?