Reminder: Seeking creates duality. What comes into being is a state of not having versus having. How do I find without seeking? The full realm of potential exists in each moment, so I accept that it already exists and I explore it as fully and consciously as I can. This, in the past, has led to some painful awakenings about myself and the state of my life. There has been some clear and painful contrast between the life I have and the life I want, and I have had to come to terms with these. But there has been clear progression.
Coming to terms with things can be a challenge. It seems to me that it begins with acceptance. When I cannot accept what is, I live in a state of denial, which is that old duality thing again. This can
I cannot always feel the painful heaviness I carry. If I cannot feel it, then does it exist? There are certain things I can do, certain states of mind that bring it about. I have been avoiding them. Knowing I limit myself to my comfort zone bothers me, so I poke around and try to get a sense of the parameters while I discover how to access it and prepare myself psychologically to deal it. More duality; comfort zone versus clearly NOT comfort zone. How do I deal with that? Do I need to find acceptance of this thing that makes me feel everything at once? This THING which is clearly separate from ME. How does that work? I have created so many other conditions of my life, by conscious choice. I understand free will and how it works, whether I am paying attention or not. So here is this Thing. What state of mind was I in when I created it and then hid it away, so I would only be able to see it peripherally under very specific circumstances? And why? What purpose does it serve and of what purpose is its concealment? I did not do it on purpose. It is certainly pre-Purpose. ’t be real because I want it to be xyz, so I will convince myself it IS xyz.